Cousin Ben

 

My dad had a cousin named Ben.  When they were boys they would fish and camp together.  Ben's mother, Echo, was my grandma's big sister.  She was like a second mom to grandma.  Aunt Echo had a knack for sewing.  According to Grandma she could see a dress in the store window then go home and make it.  Grandma needed a pattern, with instructions.  Sometimes she would get stuck and she'd ask Aunt Echo for help.  She'd show her the instructions and point out the spot where she got stuck and Echo would laugh and show her what to do.  Echo's husband, Uncle Brian, also made a strong impression on my grandma.  When Ben and his twin sister were born, Brian would get up in the night to help care for them.  He would say, "Well, Echo has to work all day too."  Meaning that the work she did all day to care for newborn twins and a toddler, a house, and whatever else she was responsible for was just as important has his job.  Grandma thought that was just amazing.  (I'm not sure what that says about my own grandpa but that's a story for another day.)  

When Ben and Dad graduated from high school they had to decide if they wanted to serve missions for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  Ben's mom and dad were both faithful, dedicated members of the church and he planned to serve a mission.  My grandma also faithfully attended church meetings but Grandpa had no use for church.  So dad was left to decide for himself.  He was a shy, anxious kid.  Church was boring.  He had no intention of serving a mission.  Before Ben left for his mission he had an opportunity to speak in church.  Dad and his mom and sister attended.  At some point in the talk Ben said something along the lines of "If I can serve a mission, so can you."  My father felt the Holy Spirit touch his heart and he knew that those words were for him.  He contacted his bishop and soon received a call to serve for two years in Japan.  

Dad's missionary service solidified his testimony of Jesus Christ and his determination to serve Him.  Throughout his life he diligently attended his church meetings, served in a variety of capacities in the church, and led his family in scripture reading, prayer and Family Home Evening.  He and Mom attended the temple often, nearly weekly for as long as I can remember.  On Sunday afternoons he would set up a card table and pull out all his genealogy papers.  He used a fountain pen to carefully copy his ancestor's information onto giant pedigree charts and family group records.  He was a faithful husband and father.

I was an adult living half way across the continent when my dad told me this story and I have often wondered if Ben ever knew the influence he had on my dad.  I can trace my own missionary service and devotion to Jesus Christ to the decision that Ben made to serve a mission.  I don't know where he served or how many people came to believe the gospel of Jesus Christ as a result of his service, but I know that I owe my own testimony to his decision to serve a mission, and his sharing of that choice with my dad.

Cousin Ben died a few months after my dad did.  (They both died during the 2020 COVID-19 pandemic but not from COVID.  Dad had brain cancer and Ben had a stroke.)  After learning of Ben's passing I carried an image in my mind of Dad and Ben tromping through the woods with their fishing poles; young, healthy, carefree.  Still best friends.

Alma 17:1-2 therefore, Alma did rejoice exceedingly to see his brethren; and what added more to his joy, they were still his brethren in the Lord...

This photo is of Ben straightening Dad's tie at my parents wedding reception.  Would that we all could have such a Best Man/Woman in our lives.